Sunday, October 30, 2011

Top 5 Horror Films You Probably Haven't Seen

There are a gazillion horror films out there. And I'm not gonna lie, I've seen most of them.

This Halloween, I'm going to be snuggling on the couch with my boyfriend and pigging out on junk food, with my eyes glued to the screen while we watch scary movies. To me, that is the perfect way to celebrate on a chilly fall night.

In honor of Halloween, I've decided to list five horror films I think you should know exist. You're not going to see The Exorcist or Scream on here, because this isn't a boring list. It's an awesome list.

Let's start, shall we?

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956): Best classic horror film

Body Snatchers takes place in a picturesque 1950s world where martinis after work are mandatory and everybody is perfect...or are they?

The plot centers around Dr. Bennell, who returns home to discover many of his patients fear their loved ones are impostors. He decides to investigate the complaints and comes to a shocking discovery.

Not only is this an entertaining horror film, it also perfectly embodies the atmosphere 1950s America was facing at the time: fear of outsiders and fear of government repression.

Teeth (2007): Weirdest horror film

This film is about a girl with a killer pussy.

And I'm not talking about a cat.

It focuses on a coming-of-age girl who has teeth in her you-know-what.

Now, you're probably thinking Teeth is X-rated and a cheap trick. But it's not! This film is actually quite modest, given it's content, and it is a really good film. Not so-bad-it's-good, but good good!

You are just going to have to trust me. I will say no more.

Pan's Labyrinth (2006): Most beautiful horror film

This magical dark fairytale is so visually stunning, it is jaw-dropping.

The plot revolves around a young girl living in post-fascist Spain. She meets a fairy who tells her she is a princess, but in order to claim her crown, she needs to complete three gruesome tasks.

Words cannot describe how much I adore this whimsical, breathtaking horror film.

It is a must-see.

The Last House on the Left (1972): Most realistic horror film

Do not watch this movie.

I had the misfortune of not knowing what The Last House on the Left was about before I saw it. I was completely repulsed, shocked, and dismayed. When this film came out in theaters, during the early 1970s, many audience members fainted and some even had heart attacks. It is still banned in several countries to this day. It's that awful.

But I'm very serious when I say that I will not hesitate to show my teenage daughter this film one day. It is the best after-school special in the world.

Leprechaun (1993): Stupidest horror film

I'm not sure what makes this movie scarier: the cheesy dialogue or Jennifer Aniston's old nose. JUST KIDDING. Jennifer Aniston's film debut is a treat for viewers of this Irish-inspired gem.

The plot focuses around a severely unattractive and evil Leprechaun who goes on a killing spree to find his beloved pot of gold.

This movie is so bad, it's delicious. When I was in high school, my best friend Allison and I had Leprechaun sleepovers, where we stayed up all night watching all his dirty little adventures. In the sequels, the silly little fellow goes on killing sprees in "the hood," Las Vegas, New York City, and even outer space!

Will you see any of these films on Halloween night?

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