Update on the Fabulousness

I haven't done a personal post in a while, so I figured I should let you know how I'm doing and whatnot.

I'm always stunned when I realize that some of you actually give a damn about my well-being.

This past month has been okay. Life isn't perfect, but I'm not as unhappy as I used to be. I actually discovered an unpublished post I had written three months ago, titled "I'm losing my mind." It was a bad time.

The only real unhappiness I have right now is my weight. I desperately want to lose twenty pounds, not just because of my appearance, but because of my health. My weight is actually making me sick now.

I'm horrified to say that in the past year, I have actually gained ten pounds while trying to lose ten pounds. I'm not sure why. I honestly do not have a bad diet. I rarely eat sweets. Most of my meals contain vegetables and meat. I do not eat junk food. It's quite the mystery and it makes me sad. I also had been walking every single day and doing zumba three times a week, but when I realized that I was packing on the pounds, rather than shedding them, I got so depressed that I stopped being active all together. I just gave up.

Now I'm even thinking so far as to get diet pills.

I do not have a full-time job yet, but I'm freelancing for my old newspaper and helping my dad out at the hospital on weekends. But it barely pays the bills and I haven't been shopping in months. I just have to take it one day at a time.

I'm still with my boyfriend, who I think I mention on here occasionally. We've been dating for five years now, although we still haven't celebrated our milestone anniversary, due to lack of funds.

Shit this all sounds depressing, doesn't it?

But I'm seriously okay. I'll make it, I think.

Thanks for caring.